This is my first post, so I figured it was the appropriate place to introduce myself. I write both young adult and adult urban fantasy and paranormal romance. I have been a rabid reader for the entirety of my life, and I can remember scribbling vampire stories in copybooks during class as far back as the fourth grade. I was raised by very practical people who believed such daydreams and hobbies were a distraction, not a gift. Writing was a hobby, not a career that could support you or a family. Wanting to be a writer was considered the same pipe dream as wanting to be a ballerina or a rock star--immature, frivolous and something to be forgotten. So I buried it and flailed at the "proper" course my life was supposed to take.
I married a wonderful, sarcastic, and at times infuriating man and we had three gorgeous little girls. I had a job with health insurance and a pension. I did it, I grew up. Between the moments that were filled with the joy of being a wife and mother, I was bored out of my skull. Then a miracle happened. I read a book, which one is not important, and joined a fandom. In this fandom I found some kindred spirits who were as much in love with sexy bad boys and supernatural creatures as I was. I saw Melissa Marr on a panel at FaerieCon one year call this "finding your tribe". Well, I had found mine.
These wonderful, fabulous and relentless new friends became beta readers when they dared me to go out and chase my dream. I shuddered. Oh dear God, these people expect me to write something and let other people see it! They had lost their ever lovin' minds!
I looked at my (at the time) two amazing daughters and all the incredible potential in them. I looked at the wide world around them filled with wonder and cruelty and hope and despair and I thought, I have to do this. Who better than me to show them to reach for the stars? Who better than me, to tell them anything is possible, everything is within their grasp, and the only way they can truly fail is to not try? This is said much better in the distraction99 blog post "Becoming the Person I Want My Daughters to Be", by Kristin Halbrook, part of author Nova Ren Suma's fabulous Turning Points blog series.
Rachel Vincent wrote a blog post once detailing her journey as a writer for Deadline Dames, and it resonated with me so strongly that I never forgot it. I learned that all writers face self doubt, cynicism and fear. I wasn't a special, fragile little snowflake. But the love of it all, the simple need to write is something we all share on our journey no matter how different the road may be. That need had never really left me, I just needed to reclaim it.
Something I did very slowly. Every day I had a few more words than the day before. I swore, I whined, I wept. I kept going. Eventually, I had a novel. I decided that plotters probably drink less than pansters and I would always have a plan in future. Just like that, I was thinking about the future. My future. As a writer.
I've come a long way since those first days of stark raving terror, and can only thank the betas that refused to let me give up and the wonderful man I married who softens his snark with undying support. I love you all to the appropriate degrees, and I hope I earn the faith you've placed in me.
